I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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