True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Cover your peen. We're going out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize