Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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