I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
