grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
