Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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