farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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