if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
