Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
