I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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