Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
