Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize