you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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