There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
