This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
