I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So much rum. So many feels.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
