this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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