he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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