Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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