note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
