I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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