Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
