Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
