I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
