Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize