What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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