You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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