so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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