I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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