At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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