I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize