You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
