white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
