are you still at the devil's house?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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