i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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