I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
