did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
