he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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