Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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