if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
