he puts the penis in happiness.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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