covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize