just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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