Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
