That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
