Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
