So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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