I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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