Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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