Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
