She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
