You just made me feel so damn special
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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