I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
