I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
