what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
