I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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