its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize