Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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