I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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