I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
