I wannas sexs uuuuu
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this will be a night to untag.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
