It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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