11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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