I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will pee on everything he values.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
