how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
nutella sex= disaster
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Randomize
