you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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