My first STD was from a foam party
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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