hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
