I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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