I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
