I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She told me I should be a condom model.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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