It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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