Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
