I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize