3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
