overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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