that's an acceptable place to lick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He passed out mid-signature
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize