i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
