Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
