All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
