Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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