barbara walters just said penis...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
